A time out for God

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

Every once and a while I will get a tugging in my heart from God. This tugging I've learn is God's way of saying to me "Audra, I need you to listen to me. I need all of you." These tugging moments usually don't come at the best of times. For example, eating dinner with a group of friends in the caf, in the middle of running errands and so on. But I try the best that I can to drop everything and be with God. It's usually not for a long time but just enough time to refocus myself on what truly matters- serving God with my whole heart. I love these quiet and peaceful moments and my heart always leaves full- it's like a spiritual all-you-can-eat buffet. Here's one of the songs I listen to get me in the prayerful mood:

A little update of why I've completely neglected this blog.

Life has been a bit crazy for the past three weeks. On September 19th I started working for a Salvation Army Kroc Center in town. I can honestly say that it's one of the best jobs I've ever had- if not the greatest. My co-workers are great people (for the most part) we work so well together and never leave each other stranded when a difficult customer comes through the line. Plus, the Kroc Center is so new and different that people are always blown away at what we have to offer the community. It's easy to feel proud working there.
Another great thing about the Kroc Center is the diversity of people we get- one minute I'm helping a former politician with his membership then the next assisting a homeless person find shelter for the night. Each person has a different need and it's my job to assist them in whichever way I can.
So now that things have settled down -I'm no longer working 45 plus hours between two job- as I was for the past two weeks. I can now focus more attention to this blog! Whoo!

God's dog

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

Sixteen years ago I remember wondering why my mother had disappeared. We just got home from my sisters basketball game and I assumed she would be home waiting for us- she wasn't.

Finally I heard the door open and to my relief mom came into the kitcten. I went to hug her but noticed she  had a towel over her sholder- she turned her back to me and underneath that towel I saw a little wet nose...

"A PUPPY!!!" I exclaimed. ( Like any six year old this was a dream come true)

Mom removed the towel so I could see my new pet best friend sister. She was this little black and white ball of fur with ears that nearly touched the ground. Mom put her on the floor and we ran towards each other- it was a match made in heaven.

We would call her Muffy- a combination of mom's two childhood dogs Mufin and Tuffy.
Over the years Muffy was there for many pivital times in my life.
Whenever I had a boy over Muffy would sit in between us to make sure we didn't get too close.  This might have been a sign she wanted me to be a nun. (Ironically, I was petting her as I told my mom what I wanted to do- Muffy never left my side)

She greeted me the night of my first kiss and was there when the boy broke my heart nine months later. Unfortunately she never once bit him.
Through all the proms graduations funerals and holidays, Muffy was there barking at whoever had the audicity to come to our house- once she checked them out she would completely ignore them unless they had food.

Muffy wasn't supposed to be. Her mother got loose one night and well, you know...She was a free mute- the last one of the litter. But she gave us sixteen wonderful years of laughter, company and joy.

She came into my life when I was just in kindergarden and left a few monthes after I graduated from college. I figure that she thought she taught me everything I needed to learn from her- that her job was done. She tried so hard to act like the puppy she once was but her body just wouldn't let her. Her old weary body needed a rest.

I'm not as sad as I thought I would be- instead I'm grateful of the gift that God had given to my family.

But given all of this: I simply miss my dog.

Who we are...

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Thanks to Fr. Darren for posting this video on his blog. Props to DefendUsInBattleBlog for making the video!

Good News on the Priest Front!

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My good friend Adam over at Muddling through my Catholic life has gone to the seminary! Adam and I graduated from Quincy University together and have contemplated Catholicism over many a beer for the past two years with many great friends. I know that Adam will make a great priest- even though he will not take any of my "suggestions" for when he becomes Pope:

• Like institute a World Youth Day bar crawl.
• Put a bar in every church.
• Wear dreadlocks with his pope hat.
• Integrate Bob Marley songs in the Liturgy.

Did I mention that Adam and I drank many a beer together?

In all seriousness, I ask that you all pray for Adam and his fellow seminarians as they continue to discern where God is calling them. And while you're at it- give some love to the lay seminarians as well!

St. John Vianney- Patron Saint of Diocesan Priests- Pray for us!

Awkward Catholic Moment #6...

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

75% of American Catholics are not aware of the new changes to the Mass.

This might be the most Awkward moment yet. Fr.Jim gives a couple of great resources at the end of his blog so you can read up on the changes.

Anyway, sorry for the blog silence. I am still battling jet lag from my trip to World Youth Day. Plus I'm trying to secure a job with the Salvation Army Kroc Center. I had the final interview Monday and was asked today to schedule a time to fill out the paper work. A very good sign! Hopefully, I'll have all of this finalized by Friday!

Awkward Catholic is going to World Youth Day

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These nuns will let anyone go on a trip with them.

I'm going to Spain tomorrow which means I have no idea if I'll be able to blog until I get back next Friday. (Probably will try to)

But I promise a lot of pictures and videos and stories when I return to Illinois.

Meanwhile you can follow the Awkwardness here. I'll just be in the back ground mostly acting like I know something.

Peace and all good! 

Nunabe Diaries: Coming out of the perverbial nun closet and asking "Now what"?

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

Yesterday (Sunday) I told my mom I wanted to be a nun. It was a conversation I wanted to have for three years. Even though I didn't know we would have that conversation at that moment, I kept calm (something I was afraid I wouldn't do). I knew she would drag me through the mud, say hurtful things and I was right. She did say some hurtful things. But I was prepared for that moment.

What I wasn't prepared for was the aftermath.

Neither of my parents are going to disown me. But they completely disapprove of my vocation. Even though it was a difficult conversation I felt relief that I didn't have to hide my vocation. (Gone are the days I hide vocation magazines under my bed- actually that was gone when I completely moved out of the house this May)

I can't help but remember of all of those nights I laid awake at night planning on what I was going to say. And I can now say that this is probably the one time planning during discerning is a good thing.

But one thing I didn't plan was again, the aftermath. I'm not prepared to answer the basic "nun" questions that I've been asked for years. It feel so much more real telling my parents about my beloved community of choice. It's plain scary.

Though sometimes we need a shot of whiskey to wake us up. Or a knock on the head, whichever metaphor you like...

While I'm still very much hurt by what was said (I'm sure they are hurt too) I realized that my vocation is very much "Tonka tough". After the conversation I was questioning whether all this hurt was worth the pain and then I let that question sit for a bit (something I learned while discerning). Then sure enough, the fire came back. The nun thing was still a good idea.