Nunnabe Diaries: Following

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

I was nervous. I couldn't eat, couldn't stop shaking. "What if they don't like me?" "This is such a huge risk." "I could fail a class if I go." "Could I really afford that train ticket?"
Those were the thoughts that swam in my head day in and day out. The only reason I slept was because I was too exhausted to stay awake.

The butterflies were doing major damage to my stomach.

I tried to plan out what I do in every situation. I needed to be prefect. I so wanted them to like me.
I had a small hunch that I would like them...

A week from my first Come and See with "my nuns" I went for a walk. I actually went for a lot walks then because I was useless everywhere else.
I drove to a near-by park and started walking and doing more planning.

Suddenly I heard a voice that sounded like it was outside of me but also in my head*.
It said, "follow me."
I said, "Okay."

Nerves went away and in rushed a peace that has rarely ever left.

The scene of the peace.

I like to think that that was God talking. I'm almost positive it was. What I like about this moment was that God was so gentle. He could have sent a lightening bolt down or wrote "Follow me" in the sky. 

But he didn't. It was the still small voice that I heard. 

In order to hear that voice I must calm myself down. Luckily, Jesus is very good at calming me down. 

Well, him and a glass of wine. 

This moment changed my discernment and possibly my sanity in a big way. I went on that Come and See with a clear head and working stomach. I believe that since these nuns STILL invite me back to their Motherhouse three years later says that it was successful. 

My prayer is for all those who read this blog may listen to that still small voice- it might be small but the adventure is huge.

A time out for God

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

Every once and a while I will get a tugging in my heart from God. This tugging I've learn is God's way of saying to me "Audra, I need you to listen to me. I need all of you." These tugging moments usually don't come at the best of times. For example, eating dinner with a group of friends in the caf, in the middle of running errands and so on. But I try the best that I can to drop everything and be with God. It's usually not for a long time but just enough time to refocus myself on what truly matters- serving God with my whole heart. I love these quiet and peaceful moments and my heart always leaves full- it's like a spiritual all-you-can-eat buffet. Here's one of the songs I listen to get me in the prayerful mood:

A little update of why I've completely neglected this blog.

Life has been a bit crazy for the past three weeks. On September 19th I started working for a Salvation Army Kroc Center in town. I can honestly say that it's one of the best jobs I've ever had- if not the greatest. My co-workers are great people (for the most part) we work so well together and never leave each other stranded when a difficult customer comes through the line. Plus, the Kroc Center is so new and different that people are always blown away at what we have to offer the community. It's easy to feel proud working there.
Another great thing about the Kroc Center is the diversity of people we get- one minute I'm helping a former politician with his membership then the next assisting a homeless person find shelter for the night. Each person has a different need and it's my job to assist them in whichever way I can.
So now that things have settled down -I'm no longer working 45 plus hours between two job- as I was for the past two weeks. I can now focus more attention to this blog! Whoo!

Walking on Water

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

I'm going to safely assume that it's hot where ever you are. So to help cool things down I though I would post a Gospel mediation that I wrote when I was a sophomore in College. For your listening pleasure I provided a video of ocean sounds to make it more realistic. (just a little warning, it may play a commerical in the beginning) So turn up the volume and take some time out to chill with Jesus.

Image you are Peter the apostle, you have been fishing all day. You are tired. So you take a break and enjoy the scene around you. It’s a beautiful day.  The water is a prefect blue. So calm. You look around at this magnificent scene.

Then your eyes rest upon Jesus. He is out in the middle of the sea. Just standing there. He tells you to come to Him. You step out of the boat and began to walk on water.

But this time you do not lose faith.

The water feels so cool against your tired feet. It soothes all the soars which have accumulated that day. Your eyes are totally on Jesus And for the first time in your life you know exactly what Jesus wants from you; He wants you to walk on water to Him. To be with Him. To do something miraculous yet so simple. Just walk to him on water.

You are at peace, the breeze cools you down. The water so soothing. Yes you change this story, you don’t lose faith instead you walk to Jesus. He greets you with a hug. And says “look my child look around you.” You began to notice all the birds in the air and fish in the sea. Everything becomes so clear. You are not confused anymore. You have found your place. Right by Jesus Christ, your savior. Now take a moment of silence to image this very scene describe to you. Image what you would do, or say.   After taking this all in, Jesus leads you back to the boat. Then back to shore.

So if you feel like you're drowning, losing faith just remember to W .O. W. Walk On Water. Like that little three letter. It maybe simple but it says A LOT. Just like following Jesus can be. He makes the most miraculous yet difficult task seem so simple.  So I’ll leave you with this quote by St. Katharine Drexel. “God wants saints. That is why we are here. It is great thing to realize that in order to be saints we have only to be what God made us to be."