God's dog

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

Sixteen years ago I remember wondering why my mother had disappeared. We just got home from my sisters basketball game and I assumed she would be home waiting for us- she wasn't.

Finally I heard the door open and to my relief mom came into the kitcten. I went to hug her but noticed she  had a towel over her sholder- she turned her back to me and underneath that towel I saw a little wet nose...

"A PUPPY!!!" I exclaimed. ( Like any six year old this was a dream come true)

Mom removed the towel so I could see my new pet best friend sister. She was this little black and white ball of fur with ears that nearly touched the ground. Mom put her on the floor and we ran towards each other- it was a match made in heaven.

We would call her Muffy- a combination of mom's two childhood dogs Mufin and Tuffy.
Over the years Muffy was there for many pivital times in my life.
Whenever I had a boy over Muffy would sit in between us to make sure we didn't get too close.  This might have been a sign she wanted me to be a nun. (Ironically, I was petting her as I told my mom what I wanted to do- Muffy never left my side)

She greeted me the night of my first kiss and was there when the boy broke my heart nine months later. Unfortunately she never once bit him.
Through all the proms graduations funerals and holidays, Muffy was there barking at whoever had the audicity to come to our house- once she checked them out she would completely ignore them unless they had food.

Muffy wasn't supposed to be. Her mother got loose one night and well, you know...She was a free mute- the last one of the litter. But she gave us sixteen wonderful years of laughter, company and joy.

She came into my life when I was just in kindergarden and left a few monthes after I graduated from college. I figure that she thought she taught me everything I needed to learn from her- that her job was done. She tried so hard to act like the puppy she once was but her body just wouldn't let her. Her old weary body needed a rest.

I'm not as sad as I thought I would be- instead I'm grateful of the gift that God had given to my family.

But given all of this: I simply miss my dog.

Who we are...

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

Thanks to Fr. Darren for posting this video on his blog. Props to DefendUsInBattleBlog for making the video!

Good News on the Priest Front!

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My good friend Adam over at Muddling through my Catholic life has gone to the seminary! Adam and I graduated from Quincy University together and have contemplated Catholicism over many a beer for the past two years with many great friends. I know that Adam will make a great priest- even though he will not take any of my "suggestions" for when he becomes Pope:

• Like institute a World Youth Day bar crawl.
• Put a bar in every church.
• Wear dreadlocks with his pope hat.
• Integrate Bob Marley songs in the Liturgy.

Did I mention that Adam and I drank many a beer together?

In all seriousness, I ask that you all pray for Adam and his fellow seminarians as they continue to discern where God is calling them. And while you're at it- give some love to the lay seminarians as well!

St. John Vianney- Patron Saint of Diocesan Priests- Pray for us!

Awkward Catholic Moment #6...

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75% of American Catholics are not aware of the new changes to the Mass.

This might be the most Awkward moment yet. Fr.Jim gives a couple of great resources at the end of his blog so you can read up on the changes.

Anyway, sorry for the blog silence. I am still battling jet lag from my trip to World Youth Day. Plus I'm trying to secure a job with the Salvation Army Kroc Center. I had the final interview Monday and was asked today to schedule a time to fill out the paper work. A very good sign! Hopefully, I'll have all of this finalized by Friday!

Awkward Catholic is going to World Youth Day

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These nuns will let anyone go on a trip with them.

I'm going to Spain tomorrow which means I have no idea if I'll be able to blog until I get back next Friday. (Probably will try to)

But I promise a lot of pictures and videos and stories when I return to Illinois.

Meanwhile you can follow the Awkwardness here. I'll just be in the back ground mostly acting like I know something.

Peace and all good! 

Nunabe Diaries: Coming out of the perverbial nun closet and asking "Now what"?

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

Yesterday (Sunday) I told my mom I wanted to be a nun. It was a conversation I wanted to have for three years. Even though I didn't know we would have that conversation at that moment, I kept calm (something I was afraid I wouldn't do). I knew she would drag me through the mud, say hurtful things and I was right. She did say some hurtful things. But I was prepared for that moment.

What I wasn't prepared for was the aftermath.

Neither of my parents are going to disown me. But they completely disapprove of my vocation. Even though it was a difficult conversation I felt relief that I didn't have to hide my vocation. (Gone are the days I hide vocation magazines under my bed- actually that was gone when I completely moved out of the house this May)

I can't help but remember of all of those nights I laid awake at night planning on what I was going to say. And I can now say that this is probably the one time planning during discerning is a good thing.

But one thing I didn't plan was again, the aftermath. I'm not prepared to answer the basic "nun" questions that I've been asked for years. It feel so much more real telling my parents about my beloved community of choice. It's plain scary.

Though sometimes we need a shot of whiskey to wake us up. Or a knock on the head, whichever metaphor you like...

While I'm still very much hurt by what was said (I'm sure they are hurt too) I realized that my vocation is very much "Tonka tough". After the conversation I was questioning whether all this hurt was worth the pain and then I let that question sit for a bit (something I learned while discerning). Then sure enough, the fire came back. The nun thing was still a good idea.

Walking on Water

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I'm going to safely assume that it's hot where ever you are. So to help cool things down I though I would post a Gospel mediation that I wrote when I was a sophomore in College. For your listening pleasure I provided a video of ocean sounds to make it more realistic. (just a little warning, it may play a commerical in the beginning) So turn up the volume and take some time out to chill with Jesus.

Image you are Peter the apostle, you have been fishing all day. You are tired. So you take a break and enjoy the scene around you. It’s a beautiful day.  The water is a prefect blue. So calm. You look around at this magnificent scene.

Then your eyes rest upon Jesus. He is out in the middle of the sea. Just standing there. He tells you to come to Him. You step out of the boat and began to walk on water.

But this time you do not lose faith.

The water feels so cool against your tired feet. It soothes all the soars which have accumulated that day. Your eyes are totally on Jesus And for the first time in your life you know exactly what Jesus wants from you; He wants you to walk on water to Him. To be with Him. To do something miraculous yet so simple. Just walk to him on water.

You are at peace, the breeze cools you down. The water so soothing. Yes you change this story, you don’t lose faith instead you walk to Jesus. He greets you with a hug. And says “look my child look around you.” You began to notice all the birds in the air and fish in the sea. Everything becomes so clear. You are not confused anymore. You have found your place. Right by Jesus Christ, your savior. Now take a moment of silence to image this very scene describe to you. Image what you would do, or say.   After taking this all in, Jesus leads you back to the boat. Then back to shore.

So if you feel like you're drowning, losing faith just remember to W .O. W. Walk On Water. Like that little three letter. It maybe simple but it says A LOT. Just like following Jesus can be. He makes the most miraculous yet difficult task seem so simple.  So I’ll leave you with this quote by St. Katharine Drexel. “God wants saints. That is why we are here. It is great thing to realize that in order to be saints we have only to be what God made us to be."