Awkward Catholic Moment #7: Calling a Nun by her first name

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

I remember the exact moment it happened. I was helping my good nun friend put together a small storage unit we had just purchased at Ikea. We were having a good time, laughing and talking- when everything changed. She had asked for a screw driver but I had given her the wrong one. Instinctively I said "sorry sister" and handed her the right one. She rolled her eyes and said "you know, you don't have to call me sister".
I was speechless.
To make matters worse, the other sister came into the room and agreed with her. I took a deep breath and said "ok, Julie". And that's when my Irish Great-Great Grandmother hit me over the head with a 2x4- metaphorically speaking.
I have been around nuns and priests my entire life and this was the first I have ever called a nun by her first name. It was something I never thought about doing. Somewhere in Catholic grade school when I was young it must have been hammered into my skull that you shouldn't call a nun, priest or brother by their first name only. It was rude and sinful.
It's been almost a year and a half since that fateful day and I still have trouble not putting sister in front of their names. (Though pictured my great great grandma with a 2x4 over my head probably doesn't help) These are the only two nuns that have given me permission. I know the other nuns in their congregation wouldn't mind- it's why I love them- but I have a strict rule not to do so until I have their permission.
Of course, like everything concerning religious life I have thought long and hard about this. I have asked myself why it's so hard for me to forgo sister when talking with them. I tried to put myself in their shoes- would I mind if someone didn't call me sister?
Honestly I don't think I would mind. A friend once said she would feel weird if she ever called me sister. I told she didn't have to- the reason I was becoming a nun was to help people- not because of the title.
This gets me thinking- for her to call me sister would create a tiny barrier between us. I don't want that. The reason I want to be a nun is so I can live for and with the oppressed. In order to do that all barriers must go. My main goal is to serve people and bring them to God- if I get the job done without them knowing I'm a nun- then either way I got the job done.* The reason I was able to get the job done was because I would have been trained- in the novitiate-or nun school- on how to bring people closer to God.
The reason I joined the novitiate will be because God called me. And how I know God is calling me to join the novitiate is because it would bring me peace and joy that will continue for as long as I'm doing God's will. And because of that peace and joy I'll be able to bring people closer to God.**
(In the novitiate I would also learn how to have a good solid prayer life which would help me bring people closer to God)***

Well, this post went a little deeper than expected.****

*Most likely people will know I'm a nun given the possible ministry I would work for. It would be rare circumstance that they won't know. In some cases it would help people to know I was a nun. I'm just saying I'm willing to identify myself as whatever they need me to be-as long as it's authentically me present-to help them.
**I over-simplified the meaning of the novitiate and "nun training" in general. I also over-simplified how God calls us and what it feels like-but I think you get the general idea. And I over-simplified the goal of nuns- getting people closer to God-though this is a HUGE goal. There are other much smaller goals. Getting people closer to God is every ones goal.
***I hope you read these footnotes, otherwise you might think I have no clue about nuns or about how God calls us. I really do know what I'm talking about.
****I love footnote.

It's Tebow Time at Awkward Catholic

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

I'm going to try something new and comment on an actual current news story NOW instead of procrastinating waiting until everything has blown over.

Today Yahoo News came out with a story about how Pat Robertson is offended over the SNL Skit about Tim Tebow.
First Yahoo got the headline wrong. Pat Robertson does NOT represent the Christian voice. I'm a Christian and I wasn't offended by the skit- I think it makes a great point about faith.
Here's the skit in it's entirety:

Now what probably got Pat mad was the portrayal of Jesus. (I'm not even going to touch his ignorant comment about Muslims) Here, SNL-Jesus has a good sense of humor and kinda makes fun of himself. In reading the Gospels I think Jesus had a great sense of humor- Just read Fr.James Martin's new book "Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor and Laughter is at the Heart of the Spiritual Life".
SNL-Jesus makes a great point in that only certain types of celebrities thank him publicly. Maybe that's why he "decides" those contests because they actually let him in and talk publicly about him.

I realize another point of this skit was to make Tebow look stupid and foolish over meeting Jesus. The other guys kept their cool when Jesus walked in but not Tebow. He loses his stuff and acts like an idiot.

I want to act just like Tebow when I meet Jesus. I loved how Tebow was in Jesus' face and didn't leave "room for the Holy Spirit". I loved the stupid look on Tebow's face. I want to lose my cool and freak out and act like an idiot. I think it'll show that Jesus was pretty much the whole point of me breathing and being nice to people. Like, SNL-Jesus to Tebow I think he'll have to calm me down so I'll actually listen to him. So there's another good point the skit has- we have calm down and LISTEN to Jesus.

In types of skits like these it's interesting to see how the writer views religion and the role of Jesus in our lives. We can pick apart this skit and ask questions like What role does God play in sports? Is Tebow really all that good or is God making the plays? Where is free will in all of this? Does God really care about the score?

I think Tebow has a great view on sports and God. He goes out there every Sunday and tries his best so he can glorify God. God gave him the ability to run and the determination to learn how to throw the football. (Because that boy can't throw a football worth a damn- but he can certainly run)

When we use the talents God gave us- God wins. And sometimes by doing this we lose the game. It's all a mystery as to why this happens but we can always say we tried our best. And in some way that's a win for us as well.

This skit has a lot of spiritual "goodies" that can teach us valueable lessons. Yes, sometimes it takes unreligious secular means to learn something about God.

The Circle of Life

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

This past weekend was one of the busiest I've had in a long time but it's also one of my favorite weekends.
On Friday night I was scheduled to do two hours of Adoration for a Koinonia retreat held at my alma mater. I've been apart of this retreat in a big way for most of my college life. In fact, the only time I wasn't on the leadership team was when I was a candidate my freshman year. So handing over the reins was no easy task. What made it even harder was that this was the smallest team we've ever had and the largest candidate pool. I volunteered myself to one of the directors many times but she said she didn't want to take me away from my other engagement for the weekend. So I settled for a two hour adoration slot. (A HUGE part of this retreat is that we have perpetual adoration)
I felt restless for the first few minutes of adoration as I saw my director friend rushing around all stressed out. I soon turned my focus to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. A rush of peace came over me and I didn't want to leave. I realized that the torch had been passed and that my only job now was to pray. How lucky was I?!
I also realized that a huge part of discernment was to pray- again I'm a lucky girl!
After an hour of prayer the chapel got busier as we had to pray "in" the team members giving talks and pray "out" the ones that were finished with their talks.
When my two hour slot came to a close I said good-bye to everyone and drove 40 minutes back to my parents house. When I got there I quickly ate dinner and went to bed because I had to be up at 4am for next favorite event...Deer Hunt for the Disabled.
I've Been volunteering for DHD for seven years and always come back grateful that I have two legs to walk on. This hunt is for disabled hunters that aren't physically able to hunt without a lot of assistance. Plus, it helps control the deer population. I have to be at the "base camp' in the middle of nowhere Missouri at 5am so I can meet up with my team, load up all of our hunters and get them out before sunrise. (It always amazes me that all of us can get out all 35 hunters- many who can't walk- out in their deer stands in less than an hour.)
Everyone is split up in teams of five or six adults and a couple of kids- with each team we usually have four or five hunters that we assist. I've always been with the same team so it's always like a family reunion each year. After we get all of our hunters out we sit and wait...and wait...and wait. While waiting we sit and catch up on hunting stories and everything that has happened during the year.
This year it wasn't until almost sunset that we got the call that a hunter killed two deer. Usually a tracking team will find the deer for us but they were busy- it was up to us to find both deer at night and get the hunter out of his stand. I love to track deer- my team calls me "high tracker" because one year I found four deer without the tracking team. But this year we had three young boys with us tracking so being the only female my motherly instincts kicked in.

Instead of tracking the deer I was tracking the boys tracking the deer.

I saw it as a prefect opportunity to teach them how it was done. As we got out in the field and followed the trail the boys got more and more anxious. We finally found the deer and the boys got so excited! It was bitter sweet because to think that I couldn't say I found the deer by myself but it was great to pass along the skill. It's the one reason we have young kids follow us around- so we can pass passion of DHD to future generations.
So. In less than 24 hours I passed on two torches that were a huge part of my life. One taught me how to lead and one taught me to have appreciation for nature and two working legs.

However, another chapter in my life is just starting to write itself. It's exciting and scary yet it's like I knew this would happen all along. Stay tuned.

Meeting new nuns is just as awkward as a junior high dance.

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

A couple of weeks ago I attended a solemn profession of one of the Friars at my Alma Mater.
For over a year prior to that,  he would mention to me that there would be nuns at the profession- according to him it would be nun fest 2011.

This got me excited.

On the day of the profession I entered the chapel and ramped up my nunar but I detected nothing but Friars. My friend and I sat down and I continued to look. I figured there wouldn't be any habited sisters- that would be too easy.
The Mass started and it was a beautiful ceremony. I don't know who cried more Br. Jesus or his parents.
After the ceremony my friend and I went to the Friary for the reception. She had a party to go to soon so I would on my own- I wouldn't have much time to socialize with the Friars or find the nuns.
My introvertness/ awkwardness immediately came out so couldn't bring myself to talk with any of the Friars. Not wanting to give up just yet I decided to follow my friends and get some of the fine mexician food offered. I knew I would warm up if I stayed around people I knew first then venture out.
After catching up with the other college students/ alumni about every obnoxious detail of their life, my friend said she couldn't stay any longer. Sensing defeat I said I would walk with her to her dorm. As we were leaving we stopped to say good-bye to one of our favorite friars.
I told him that I was dissappointed that nunfest 2011 didn't happen. He said "Of course they're here...one of them did the reading!" I said there's no way! Neither reader set off my nunar!
He then wisked me across the reception area and introduced me to Sr.Chris, a 30 year old temporary professed sister.
I made a mental note that I would have to work on my young nunar. But to my defense here was the set-up:

This could easily be confused with the set-up of my senior prom:

Unlike my prom date she was extremely nice and every bit of a nun. She kept asking everyone if they had enough to eat and drink- then shoved cookies at them regardless of their answer. She took great care of the older nun who came with her who hardly knew a soul there.
My friend looked at me and said "well I guess you're in your element now. I'm leaving." And she was right-these were my people.
We exchanged vocation stories and reasons why we love religious life. It was a conversation that I never get tired of having. Later that night I caught up with the older nun and with my favorite friar they exchanged stories of their younger days as Religious. The stories ranged from the touching to the hilarious.
But there was also some awkwardness...both nuns were from an order that I was unfamilar with. Totally new terrritory to interact with "New nuns". I'm used to hanging out with only my nuns. I know everything about my nuns-I'm confortable with my nuns- hince why I call them MY nuns. I noticed right away that once I started talking about my nuns I couldn't stop. Luckily I caught myself and was able to revert questions back to them.
All-in-all it was a great night full of laughter dancing and story-telling. And even though there were only two nuns there- to me it was still nunfest 2011.

White Girl Problems

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

Last Friday, I came upon a site called whitewhine.com. It takes tweets and facebook posts of people complaining about the most ridiculous things. While I laughed at a few of the posts- I was horrified at some of the "complaints". People were truly upset about the new iPhone, road construction at early hours and interactions with non-English speakers.
Even though I left the website with a sick stomach- it did make me think. I asked myself what do I complain about? Is it a white girl problem or a real problem?
Of course, whatever the problem God will always listen to me. God will never say "Oh girl please! That's a white girl problem- you're on your own!"
Although I've never been one to complain to others. Over the weekend I medidated on what problems irritate me. I asked myself, "Should I be upset about this? Will getting upset solve anything? Again is this a while girl problem?" The answers was usually "no" "no" and "yes". This helped me relax and have a smile on my face.
I also maveled at how well God truly knows me. (S)he used a little humor and alittle "shock therapy" to help me mediate on what really matters.

God is awesome.

A time out for God

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

Every once and a while I will get a tugging in my heart from God. This tugging I've learn is God's way of saying to me "Audra, I need you to listen to me. I need all of you." These tugging moments usually don't come at the best of times. For example, eating dinner with a group of friends in the caf, in the middle of running errands and so on. But I try the best that I can to drop everything and be with God. It's usually not for a long time but just enough time to refocus myself on what truly matters- serving God with my whole heart. I love these quiet and peaceful moments and my heart always leaves full- it's like a spiritual all-you-can-eat buffet. Here's one of the songs I listen to get me in the prayerful mood:

A little update of why I've completely neglected this blog.

Life has been a bit crazy for the past three weeks. On September 19th I started working for a Salvation Army Kroc Center in town. I can honestly say that it's one of the best jobs I've ever had- if not the greatest. My co-workers are great people (for the most part) we work so well together and never leave each other stranded when a difficult customer comes through the line. Plus, the Kroc Center is so new and different that people are always blown away at what we have to offer the community. It's easy to feel proud working there.
Another great thing about the Kroc Center is the diversity of people we get- one minute I'm helping a former politician with his membership then the next assisting a homeless person find shelter for the night. Each person has a different need and it's my job to assist them in whichever way I can.
So now that things have settled down -I'm no longer working 45 plus hours between two job- as I was for the past two weeks. I can now focus more attention to this blog! Whoo!

God's dog

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

Sixteen years ago I remember wondering why my mother had disappeared. We just got home from my sisters basketball game and I assumed she would be home waiting for us- she wasn't.

Finally I heard the door open and to my relief mom came into the kitcten. I went to hug her but noticed she  had a towel over her sholder- she turned her back to me and underneath that towel I saw a little wet nose...

"A PUPPY!!!" I exclaimed. ( Like any six year old this was a dream come true)

Mom removed the towel so I could see my new pet best friend sister. She was this little black and white ball of fur with ears that nearly touched the ground. Mom put her on the floor and we ran towards each other- it was a match made in heaven.

We would call her Muffy- a combination of mom's two childhood dogs Mufin and Tuffy.
Over the years Muffy was there for many pivital times in my life.
Whenever I had a boy over Muffy would sit in between us to make sure we didn't get too close.  This might have been a sign she wanted me to be a nun. (Ironically, I was petting her as I told my mom what I wanted to do- Muffy never left my side)

She greeted me the night of my first kiss and was there when the boy broke my heart nine months later. Unfortunately she never once bit him.
Through all the proms graduations funerals and holidays, Muffy was there barking at whoever had the audicity to come to our house- once she checked them out she would completely ignore them unless they had food.

Muffy wasn't supposed to be. Her mother got loose one night and well, you know...She was a free mute- the last one of the litter. But she gave us sixteen wonderful years of laughter, company and joy.

She came into my life when I was just in kindergarden and left a few monthes after I graduated from college. I figure that she thought she taught me everything I needed to learn from her- that her job was done. She tried so hard to act like the puppy she once was but her body just wouldn't let her. Her old weary body needed a rest.

I'm not as sad as I thought I would be- instead I'm grateful of the gift that God had given to my family.

But given all of this: I simply miss my dog.