J.M.J.A.T.K.G
Today I am going to show you all that I am a terrible person by sharing with you some of my pet peeves during Mass. If you find that you may share one of my pet peeves or have others to share please feel free to comment below!
The Song leader who thinks she's auditioning for American Idol
So we're singing along trying to give glory to God then all of a sudden the song leader belts out these notes that makes me wonder if we're still singing the same song. The entire congregation gives the song leader a look that says "What the heck?! Stop that! I can't follow along" but of course the song leader sees "We love it! The notes you're making up is much better than what is actually written so we're just going to stay silent."
Just stick with the notes that are written so everyone can sing along.
People who talk before and during Mass
This is a sure fire way to make me angry. It never fails. Of course I don't mind if you say hi to your friend- everyone does it- it's the polite thing to do. But this isn't a town hall meeting- wait until after Mass to talk with your friend.
The person who sits at the end of the pew
We covered this before. If you really need to sit at the end then get up so I won't have to climb over you. It creates an awkward moment that I have already written about. I can't keep doing this.
The person who sits directly behind me
It's all about timing on this one. Of course after I get done kneeling before Mass and go to sit back in the pew someone has to come in and kneels directly behind me. So now I'm focusing on whether or not my hair is clean enough and smells nice because they're getting a birds eye view. Regardless of whether it's clean or not I'm paranoid that it's not so I lean over which isn't very lady-like. I would move over but I just warmed up my spot on the pew and don't want go through the warming up process again. Knowing my luck I'm now smelling their favorite perfume or cologne...which brings me to my next pet peeve...
The person who wears too much perfume
This person must believe the perfume they are wearing will bring people closer to God so they dunk themselves in it like they're getting baptize again. Unfortunately so does a hundred other people each of whom have a different scent. Because we all know there are many different ways/scents to God.
I would assume common sense would tell them that there are other people in the church who probably wouldn't appreciate tosmell inhale their choice of perfume. But sometimes I give people too much credit.
The person who is a bad kneeler partner
This is a person with whom you share a kneeler with. Most kneelers are heavy and long- especially in older Churches- and they require two people to raise and lower them. You use two people to lessen the pressure of the -often times- little bolts that attach the kneelers to the pews. This was hammered into my head in Catholic grade school. Anyway, this person doesn't care about you or the little bolts. They either don't help raise or lower the kneelers. They put both feet on the kneeler while it's lowered giving me -the 5'11" giant- very little leg room. They don't pay attention when you go to lower the kneeler so you end up hitting them- they then give you a dirty look. They kneel too quickly forcing you to go with the kneeler and hit your head on the pew. The list goes on and on. All it takes to be a good kneeler partner is the slightest bit of communication and team work. Is that too hard to ask?
Sometimes I give all these people above a dirty look then my Catholic guilt kicks in and I spend the entire Mass trying to be overly nice to them to prove that I really am a good christian.
All and all the Catholic Church is a family. And as family members we sometimes annoy each other. Some of us can't agree on who should be priests, who should get married and so on. I try to remember that we each have a common bond in that we all believe in the saving power of the Eucharist. But I still end up giving people a dirty look.
Today I am going to show you all that I am a terrible person by sharing with you some of my pet peeves during Mass. If you find that you may share one of my pet peeves or have others to share please feel free to comment below!
The Song leader who thinks she's auditioning for American Idol
So we're singing along trying to give glory to God then all of a sudden the song leader belts out these notes that makes me wonder if we're still singing the same song. The entire congregation gives the song leader a look that says "What the heck?! Stop that! I can't follow along" but of course the song leader sees "We love it! The notes you're making up is much better than what is actually written so we're just going to stay silent."
Just stick with the notes that are written so everyone can sing along.
People who talk before and during Mass
This is a sure fire way to make me angry. It never fails. Of course I don't mind if you say hi to your friend- everyone does it- it's the polite thing to do. But this isn't a town hall meeting- wait until after Mass to talk with your friend.
The person who sits at the end of the pew
We covered this before. If you really need to sit at the end then get up so I won't have to climb over you. It creates an awkward moment that I have already written about. I can't keep doing this.
The person who sits directly behind me
It's all about timing on this one. Of course after I get done kneeling before Mass and go to sit back in the pew someone has to come in and kneels directly behind me. So now I'm focusing on whether or not my hair is clean enough and smells nice because they're getting a birds eye view. Regardless of whether it's clean or not I'm paranoid that it's not so I lean over which isn't very lady-like. I would move over but I just warmed up my spot on the pew and don't want go through the warming up process again. Knowing my luck I'm now smelling their favorite perfume or cologne...which brings me to my next pet peeve...
The person who wears too much perfume
This person must believe the perfume they are wearing will bring people closer to God so they dunk themselves in it like they're getting baptize again. Unfortunately so does a hundred other people each of whom have a different scent. Because we all know there are many different ways/scents to God.
I would assume common sense would tell them that there are other people in the church who probably wouldn't appreciate to
The person who is a bad kneeler partner
This is a person with whom you share a kneeler with. Most kneelers are heavy and long- especially in older Churches- and they require two people to raise and lower them. You use two people to lessen the pressure of the -often times- little bolts that attach the kneelers to the pews. This was hammered into my head in Catholic grade school. Anyway, this person doesn't care about you or the little bolts. They either don't help raise or lower the kneelers. They put both feet on the kneeler while it's lowered giving me -the 5'11" giant- very little leg room. They don't pay attention when you go to lower the kneeler so you end up hitting them- they then give you a dirty look. They kneel too quickly forcing you to go with the kneeler and hit your head on the pew. The list goes on and on. All it takes to be a good kneeler partner is the slightest bit of communication and team work. Is that too hard to ask?
Sometimes I give all these people above a dirty look then my Catholic guilt kicks in and I spend the entire Mass trying to be overly nice to them to prove that I really am a good christian.
All and all the Catholic Church is a family. And as family members we sometimes annoy each other. Some of us can't agree on who should be priests, who should get married and so on. I try to remember that we each have a common bond in that we all believe in the saving power of the Eucharist. But I still end up giving people a dirty look.
On the someone sitting directly behind you. Then you have to awkwardly sit on the edge of the pew while that person is kneeling.
ReplyDeleteWhen the person sitting near you is a half second ahead of everyone else in the responses. You're all praying the Our Father and they are at least one word ahead of you.
The person who comes to church with a cold and spends the entire time hacking up a lung and/or sneezing and then offers you their hand @ the sign of peace like it doesn't hold all the germs in the world.
Awkward--when I read the first sentence I gasped enough to choke myself and thought, "wonder how many of these I did during the one and only Mass I shared with you?" Turns out, we think a lot alike. I hope that doesn't scare you. I once was knelt in prayer (a rosary of all things) before Mass and as the Church filled up it got louder and louder and soon it sounded like I was waiting for a rock band instead of Mass. Two women even greeted each other with loud, "how are ya's" and handshakes right over my head. Seriously? you didn't see these rosary beads in my hand? That ended up being a prayer for patience. And that pet peeve I feel very strongly about (when I DO make it to Mass). The rest I totally agree with, as well, but they still made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteKneeler partners.... the communication is so, so subtle.
I may have violated the perfume thingy though. I tend to double dose by forgetfulness. I've been wearing the same stuff for 20 years and I don't smell it anymore so sometimes I forget if I spritzed or not. lol
Great Blog, AC.
More and more, I see and HEAR older people talk NONSTOP before Mass as if it were social hour. If I have already sat down and the talkers come in after me and start with their drivel, I sure as heck do turn around and ask them to please be silent.
ReplyDeleteI had one chatterbox tell me to mind my own business. But it sure feels good to let the other person know he (or in most cases, she) is being disrespectful to the congregation and the Lord.