Monday, July 16, 2012

Overthinkers Club



J.M.J.A.T.K.G


Today, we have our first guest blogger on Awkward Catholic. Yay! Please welcome Julia with open arms as she tells us about a club most discerners would feel right at home in. I think...

“We should do as few stupid things as possible, but to wait for a time when we would do none would be the stupidest thing of all.” ~ Saint Madeleine Sophie Barat, RSCJ

“Hi, my name is Julia, and I’m an overthinker.”
“Hi, Julia.”
Welcome, reader, to your first meeting of the Overthinkers Club.  We are so glad you could be here with us today!  We like to meet on a fairly regular basis to hash out the products of our ridiculously in-depth analysis of life, the world, and our place in both.  We welcome your questions and comments—just make sure they are appropriately probing and angst-ridden, or else you won’t really fit in.  We spend a lot of time in distress around here.
Our club has a few ground rules that you should probably know about: 1) All declarations should be the ground-breaking result of hours of self-analysis. 2) Any questions must be posed with the intent of “getting to the core” of a person’s true feelings and motivations. 3) Under no circumstances should ANY action be taken on the discoveries made here.  We can’t risk making any mistakes, now, can we?  Better to take your revelations home, think them over, and bring them back next time for more analysis.
As you look around the room, you’ll see that many of us give the distinct impression of not interacting with society on a regular basis.  Right you are, reader; most of us prefer to avoid direct contact with the world at all costs.  After all, this kind of contact might entail making decisions or—heaven forbid—acting on those decisions, and that’s a risk we just can’t take.  It’s much easier to stay holed up inside our homes and ourselves, thinking about possible hypothetical situations but never actually doing anything about them.  That way, we run almost no risk of failure!  Take a look around, reader.  This pale, sickly group of people you see before you, with no real life experiences, plenty of anxiety and an unwillingness to engage with the world—this is what success looks like.
I see that you’re considering this way of life, and I must say, I’m all for it.  Don’t worry if you’re still making decisions; it’s a hard habit to break when you first start overthinking.  If you wake up without worrying that you’re going to mess something up today, just start agonizing over your situation as soon as possible.  You’ll be much better off that way.
We hope to see you back at one of our meetings again soon!  But you don’t have to decide to come back right away—feel free to analyze your decision for a while first.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Nunnabe Diaries: Following

J.M.J.A.T.K.G

I was nervous. I couldn't eat, couldn't stop shaking. "What if they don't like me?" "This is such a huge risk." "I could fail a class if I go." "Could I really afford that train ticket?"
Those were the thoughts that swam in my head day in and day out. The only reason I slept was because I was too exhausted to stay awake.

The butterflies were doing major damage to my stomach.

I tried to plan out what I do in every situation. I needed to be prefect. I so wanted them to like me.
I had a small hunch that I would like them...

A week from my first Come and See with "my nuns" I went for a walk. I actually went for a lot walks then because I was useless everywhere else.
I drove to a near-by park and started walking and doing more planning.

Suddenly I heard a voice that sounded like it was outside of me but also in my head*.
It said, "follow me."
I said, "Okay."

Nerves went away and in rushed a peace that has rarely ever left.

The scene of the peace.
I like to think that that was God talking. I'm almost positive it was. What I like about this moment was that God was so gentle. He could have sent a lightening bolt down or wrote "Follow me" in the sky. 
But he didn't. It was the still small voice that I heard. 
In order to hear that voice I must calm myself down. Luckily, Jesus is very good at calming me down. 
Well, him and a glass of wine. 
This moment changed my discernment and possibly my sanity in a big way. I went on that Come and See with a clear head and working stomach. I believe that since these nuns STILL invite me back to their Motherhouse three years later says that it was successful. 

My prayer is for all those who read this blog may listen to that still small voice- it might be small but the adventure is huge.